If you’ve been single for a while, you’re probably wondering how much longer it’s going to last. You’ve likely been on many dates. Some went well and others were disasters. Even the good ones seemed to be only moments. There was no call-back or no long-term connection. So, what did you do wrong? Was it you? Was it them? What happened and how can you make it stop?

Well first, stop doubting yourself. You are totally capable of finding and keeping a good man. You just need to follow these steps when you’re out on a date. This is your mini-guide to dating:

1. Be Yourself

When it comes to finding the right man, you have to be the right person yourself or at least in the right frame of mind. Many people believe they have to be someone else in order to catch the man of their dreams. Maybe they feel insecure or that they don’t have enough to offer. If you’re feeling that way, then stop looking for a man in itself. You have to be confident in who you are as a person first and knowing who you are as a woman. Only after you’ve learned to love yourself can you move on to looking for someone else to love and to love you. When you’re dating, you need to be yourself. Don’t falsely advertise who you are because they will more than likely find out anyway which will in essence makes things worse. Otherwise, when someone gets to know you, they will be disappointed. You don’t want to give everything away, but you don’t want to be a fake person either. Plus, if someone wants to genuinely get to know you for you and like you for you then they really wouldn’t care WHAT your circumstance or situation is.

2. Be Assertive

It’s important to know your self-worth because it keeps you from making poor decisions. Often, we push our own boundaries for the people we’re seeing. We want them to be happy. We want them to like us. Whatever the reason, it’s never right. You have to know your boundaries and make sure your date knows them as well. If they try to push your boundaries, that’s it. The night is over and they aren’t getting a callback. When you let your boundaries slide, you’re saying to other people that you don’t value yourself. You are not someone desperate for attention. You don’t need people to like you. Besides, real or good men find it attractive and can respect when a woman holds to her boundaries. It means that she is trustworthy and that she is strong. She won’t be likely to let him down in the future.

3. Be Authentic

There is no turn-off worser than a fake personality and guys can sense this. Real men aren’t looking for someone to agree with everything they say. They want someone who challenges them in a playful way. Someone who is smart and speaks their mind. They want to hear your opinions, but they don’t want you reading from a textbook either. They want the REAL-ness that is in you, not all the superficial shit. They want your stories, good or bad. They want to know what makes you happy or sad. They want to know what you really enjoy doing (your passions). They don’t want you to rehearse what you think they want to hear. Sure, many men are looking for that exact type of woman. But it’s not to make her into a wife. The type of real or good man you’re looking for wants an authentic you.

4. Connect With Him

Most men are always looking to impress a special lady. This is obvious in the way they will show off when they like someone. To truly connect with him, you have to listen to all of his stories. You have to learn to be more understanding. But, you also have to be authentic. This means if you’re not really impressed by what he’s saying/doing, that’s fine but just learn to listen anyway. Tell him that doesn’t impress you and ask him about something that would. Steer him into talking about something else that you’ll actually respond to. If it feels like he’s just talking to hear himself talk, that’s the last you’ll want to see him. Real or good men who are looking for a lasting relationship are looking for connections and/or looking to build with you. They want you connecting to the words they say and the stories they tell. They want you hanging on. They want you to enjoy their companionship. Although not everyone shares common interests, you can find a way to make their interests more interesting to you. Especially if it’s someone really special.

To understand more buy our book “how to find and keep a good man”