When it comes to looking for real love, women often make excuses for themselves. Most of the time, we’re not meaning to do it, either. It just happens naturally. It’s a defensive mechanism, more than anything. We are so afraid of getting hurt that we’d rather avoid risk altogether. So we tell ourselves it’s not the right time, or Mr. Right wouldn’t like this/that about us, so why bother looking? The problem with excuses is that they infest, like a pest problem. One excuse brings a whole family of excuses. Before you know it, you’re never really willing to do anything different because of all the “what ifs”.
Your a good woman that want a good and real man right? Well it’s time to stop letting the excuses control your actions.
You are a strong and independent person who is worthy of love. In fact, you deserve it! Every good woman does. You deserve to crawl in bed every night with someone who completely understands who you are. We all deserve that love and acceptance.
The first step is always loving you. When you start to love yourself, you stop believing those false excuses you’ve been making to yourself which is basically your subconscious mind psyching you out. In order to find and keep a good man, you must start to see past the negative “what ifs” and think about the positive outcome of taking action. It’s not always easy to step into the unknown and get in touch with who we are deep down inside or to make the changes that need to be made. But once we have decided that something needs to change in order to get a completely different outcome, we’re looking at a whole new world! Suddenly dating doesn’t feel so heavy, it’s fun and free. Like it should be. Only in that mindset will you find Mr. Right. But you can’t get there until you toss away the book of excuses that have been your go-to this whole time. Also, STOP going to all your single “girls” looking for advice on finding and keeping a good man. Even though they could mean well, sometimes they are in the exact same boat as you are who sincere want a good man.
There are two kinds of excuses: Fear and self-doubt. Getting in touch with yourself and growing your confidence will likely only eliminate the self-doubt excuses. These are “no one will ever love me” or “none of my relationships work out anyway”. Ultimately, self-doubt excuses fall into the “why bother” category. Excuses that are rooted in fear may seem the same on the surface. “I’m not ready” and “It’s not the right time for me to date” are a couple of the fear-based excuses. Fear-based excuses often reject the time frame, not the action. You simply don’t want to do it “yet”. You are waiting for a future time when everything will make more sense, or you’ll finally feel ready. Well unfortunately, your not getting any younger and also, if you continue to just wait for some good man to miraculously show up (being somewhat fearful), whose to say he will ever come???
Our emotions are such an intricate thing, but it all boils down to the fear of rejection for most. At the end of the day, you’re not ready because you’re afraid you don’t have enough to offer. Don’t worry about stuff like that because again, if someone likes you for you, none of that will really matter anyway because they are willing to build all that with you and/or accept you as you are. In other words, (in this particular context) a real man is willing to work with a good woman who he can see that has great potential and not necessarily what she have or don’t have. Plus, a real man would expect the same thing from her if the tables were turned anyway.
Do you want to know a little secret?
You’re NEVER really “ready”. The idea of being ready to date is a misconception. No one goes into the dating pool without a tiny bit of fear. No one is ever ready. You can be more ready or less ready, but never 100% ready. So don’t worry so much about putting yourself out there. You’ll never find a good man until you just go for it and be optimistic. Its about “building” with each other and the process is always under construction.