The thing is: it is not. Finding decent men is the most trivial of the tasks, but women often look in the wrong place or with the wrong approach.
How to find a
The thing you need to keep in mind is that decent men ARE out there, somewhere. But you will need to go after them and not just “waiting for God” to send him to you. The following tips should help you to get your loved one in no time.
- Never overlook someone
It is easy to overlook someone by accident or even disregard them on purpose, especially when we are talking about love. Remember that guy from the I.T. department that asked you out on a date, but you thought that he wasn’t that cute and/or was just a nice guy? Well, you just lost a chance to find the one, and possibly someone you have been praying for.
- Don’t judge the book by its cover
When looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend, we tend to focus on the most attractive ones. We can’t help it, as we are visual animals, but sometimes the best things are hidden from view. Remember, everything that glitters aren’t necessarily gold. The most important is analyzing the interior of a person’s character.
- It is easier to change the appearance than the heart
The tip above is a good one to help you on finding the buried treasure, but it still needs a compliment.
When dealing with other people, the most attractive are the ones that get our attention. It is easy to fool ourselves that the cute but rough one can “change” with time, but that is not necessarily true. People do not usually change their hearts. It will be easier and less traumatic to you and the person to change his or her appearance than the actions.
- Too much producing can get you in trouble
Women really do love makeup. But this weapon of seduction can backfire, as using too much of it can attract the wrong kind of men, the “hunter.”
This kind of man is the one you must avoid at all costs. It sees you only as his pray, nothing more than a prize of his nocturnal hunt.
Whenever you find yourself being seduced by a hunter, take him out and move on.
- Beauty can be scaring
Most men are simple beings. They like what they see and will see what they like, that is, they will pay attention to one thing and one thing only. If a man keeps looking at you, he is interested, simple as that. But when a man finds himself interested in someone way more attractive than he is, he will flinch. They will flinch not because they think that they are not man enough to please you, but because they think you won’t have interest in them.
When a woman is too much produced, that is, good makeup, nice dressing and perfect hair; they can sometimes scare away the kind of men they were potentially seeking to begin with.
- Women usually do not take the lead
Some women “think” that it’s the man duty to ask first and by doing so, end up doing helping no one. Some think that men will be frightened if they take the lead. If you found someone attractive and they happen to not make the first move, then by all means GO and talk to him yourself. What’s stopping you? Sometimes women have to put their big girl panties on and take a man down! You will be surprised by how many of them will not bother being asked on a date. In fact, they will be overjoyed, as it is a very known fact that men do not choose partners, women do.
- The friend zone problem
Once I had a friend that was very attractive. She was beautiful, smart, had a lovely smile and liked the same things as I did. Of course, I got interested in her, but the only problem was, she already had a boyfriend. Alright, time to move on, right?
Well, yes, but what bothered most about the situation is that she kept complaining about her boyfriend to me and even described her “ideal man” to me. To my surprise, her “perfect man” profile matched exactly as I am, from top to bottom, yet she could not notice it, even with me sitting right in front of her!
You need to understand one thing. Friends are cool, but doesn’t mean that they can only be that. A boyfriend is a boy who is a friend. Your boyfriend MUST be your friend first (it usually works out better that way). The best relationships flourish from an awesome friendship and will last longer than the ones solely based on appearance and/or the superficial.
So, the next time you find yourself looking for “the one,” evaluate all your male friends. You will probably find out that he was right beside you all along.
- You are being misinterpreted
One of the most frustrating things is to be misinterpreted. You keep talking, and people don’t seem to understand what you are talking about. I know that. But when it comes to love and relationships, being misinterpreted can have a huge impact on your social network or circle of friends. For instance, I once “dated” a woman for about six months. We regularly met, went to the movies, went out for dinner, ya’ know, couple stuff. Problem was, I was young and inexperienced, so I thought that things were going well. I asked her father if I he would allow me to be her boyfriend, as it was the tradition where I live at the time. He said yes, but only if she agreed. When I asked her, she said no. That came as a surprise, not only to me, but to our other friends that knew I liked her and that I thought she liked me in that way, thought everything was alright.
The history above shows exactly how someone can misinterpret your actions, even when you are being the most explicit possible, so if you are having a bad time finding love, maybe you should reconsider how you show yourself. Sometimes this can mean to change your mindset, change the places where you go and/or try changing your clothing. For example: if you dress casually, improve it a bit. State the obvious. And if nothing works, move on to another target.
These tips are just some of the things you should know to find your loved one, and I really hope that what is written here helps you to finally pursue your “happily ever after” ending.