We have previously talked about the confusion around what women truly want and their dissatisfaction in modern dating in our blog. There, we have explained how this creates a double-bind situation for men as well. Ultimately, this leaves everyone feeling afraid and hesitant to date even after they find someone interesting. The confusion leads to ideas such as “good guys finish last,” the friend zone, and hardships with friendships too.
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Underlying this confusion are the mixed signals and notions sent in modern society. Everyone is quite uncertain about what women want in a relationship. Is it the “good guy” who treats a woman well and takes care of her needs? Really? Or, is it the “bad boy” with his masculine body and bad habits that make a woman’s heart pound?
What Women Ideally Want
Our relationship experts explored women’s mate preferences. They gave married couples questionnaires that assessed their preferences for a mate, if not their spouse. Results indicated that most of the women in the study desired men with bad traits in the following ways:
Good Genes – Men who are more physically attractive, good-looking, fit, and good in bed.
Good Investment – Men who have high potential income, are highly educated and are older than them.
Good Parenting – Men who want to build a home and family are much more fascinated by women, who want to raise children, and are emotionally mature.
However, the experts hypothesized that depending on the situation, some women might employ a mixed-mating strategy. Rather than settling for lesser ideal traits in one single man, these women would mate with more than just one man. Usually, this would involve short-term sex, flings, single parenting, sometimes cheating, and more to get good genes from a fit man while getting investment, parenting, and financial needs being taken care of from another man. Such an arrangement of a relationship would most likely occur when 1) the woman was lower in her own ethics and mate value and could not secure an ideally good guy, and 2) her situation allowed her to have multiple partners without penalty or consequences.
Thus, women seem to want both the nice and bad boys, or maybe somewhat in between. Ideally, they want to have all of the mentioned traits in one man without growing to that level. If they cannot find a single man to fit the checklist, they might settle for less all around or mix-and-match between the two types.
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