With divorce rates consistently rising above 50%, this topic gets a lot of attention! The problem with searching the topic on “How to Save Your Marriage” or “How to Keep a Man Happy” is that you will end up being in places that don’t even apply to you. But you will want to start trying different tactics to get your spouse to stay with you. This is a devastating and desperate point in your life. Take a deep breath and don’t say or do anything drastic. At least, not yet.
Marriage saving remedies come in many varieties:
• Couples Counseling With a Licensed Professional
• Counseling One Spouse With a Licensed Professional
• Professional Life Coaches specializing in relationships
• Church counseling for one or both partners
• Do-it-Yourself Manuals for both people
• Do-it-Alone Manuals for one person
• Online Support Group Counseling
• Following the advice of friends and relatives
Which route is correct for you?
Each of the options comes with tools, programs, recommended reading, and a lots of communication. No matter what option you choose, you will need a strong sense of faith, commitment and willingness to do your work of looking at yourself in the relationship. This will be life-changing! But it’s really up to you to choose if that will change your life for the good or not.
The most ideal option for you depends on a lot of things. An understanding of the current state of your relationship and its history is essential. Equally important is an analysis of each of your partner and their personal goals and personal issues. The best situation is when both partners have a stated desire to stay married and solve issues together. They readily agree that their marriage is missing the buzz they both want and don’t know how to fix.
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But what if that isn’t YOUR situation?
• One spouse has disconnected
• Suspected emotional or physical affair
• There are frequent arguments
• Someone is sleeping in a separate room
• There have been threats of divorce
This situation is a widespread predecessor to most divorces, and the solution isn’t easy. Feelings are raw, distrust runs rampant, and respect is at an all-time low. Neither partner is equipped well enough to step up and start trying things that don’t feel right anymore. The love is gone. They feel obligated to try to say they “went to counseling” before deciding to talk about divorce. Some relationship experts or counselors even get blamed for the divorce when they call it – one or both people have decided to quit trying.
It is the only answer that creates the type of change your partner may be able to live with. It also happens to be the only answer that will create the type of evolve to have an incredible life – no matter what your partner agrees to do with theirs.
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