It may sound counterproductive to think that a woman’s independence will land her a good man. The fact is most real or good men are looking for someone who is independent yes but NOT to the point where they don’t psychologically need or value a real or good man’s presence. Good men want to be valued and appreciated just like most women do. If you are strong enough to carry your own weight and understand your own emotional baggage, you are more likely to find a good man.

Why is that? Well now, don’t think that “a good man” is looking for someone perfect. That’s ridiculous. Nobody is perfect. Every man is simply looking for a real woman. Someone who is open and honest about who they are and someone who understands their own flaws. But, not overbearing flaws. Not the kind of flaws that could lead to the destruction of the relationship or potential partnership. Men want livable flaws. This leaves room for some emotional baggage, but not drastic issues. If a woman have any deep issues that have ruined their relationships with men in the past, she needs to get them worked out before they go man seeking. It’s that simple.

Understanding your own complex emotions is a way of being independent. Expressing that you acknowledge the flaw means that your growing, taking responsibility and that you are working towards repairing the issue. That means it will be easier to address, instead of simply tearing the relationship apart or running from the most important issues. Many secure women end up in loving relationships that help them to build their own self-worth and let go of baggage from the past. Most real men are not looking for “perfection”, they are just looking for someone they can potentially build something with.

A real man understands that he isn’t perfect. He knows that it’s unrealistic to carry high standards if he isn’t up to par himself. For the most part, real men want to find someone who not only have a great personality but someone who is easy to talk to. Someone who is fun and he can see a real future with. The physical aspects become icing on a cake that was baked with common interests. Believe it or not, that is really what most men are looking for. Enjoying someone’s company AND at the same time, “building” with them has become hard in the dating game for most people. Too many people are looking for short-term relationships or dating for all the wrong reason. When you make a real connection with a good potential partner, it’s one you try and hold onto.

A woman’s independence can be a good thing and will set her aside from many other potential dates but only if a woman is optimistic about her encounters with men. Again she cannot be “too independent” to where she loses sight of what a “real man” is suppose to be there for anyway to begin with. By knowing what you want, knowing who you are and what you have to offer, you will generally attract those same things into your life. Whether that’s a great job with additional bonuses and/or true love. It all depends on you and what you’re projecting into the world around you.

If you’re not independent yet, then just take some time to work on yourself. And believe it or not, sometimes it take someone to “cross our path” who see our potential to help us grow rather than us just trying to grow on our own. From time to time, some women tend to say, “I’m not going to settle” but what some don’t realize is, sometimes being by themselves IS settling (in some cases). Be optimistic and give things a chance. You might find along the way you meet someone who is worth holding onto and growing with. You just have to take that first step into independence in order to find and keep a good man.

To understand more buy our book “how to find and keep a good man”